20 Steps to Find Strength in Challenging Times

Sometime you feel like going through hell; you don’t know what to, where to go, whom to go. Even you know, you don’t find anyone, you find nothing. What to do in this situation; will you allow life to go to the dogs? Certainly not; because like there is sunrise after every sunset, your life will also see the sunrise. If it is seeing the sunset right now and only you can bring that sunrise in your life and this is how:

1)      Don’t be somebody else: We always take a benchmark in our life to achieve and most of the time, we become so engrossed in chasing that benchmark, we become somebody else than ourselves. Sometime, we say that our parents, circumstances, or environment forced us to be somebody else. How can it be true? How can we be somebody else than ourselves? How can it be good? When we are afraid of going out and face the sun, take the risk, we look out for support, we become somebody’s ward. And if that somebody protect us, he would want us behave in certain way, which may be deem fit according to his intellect and strength and not yours. If somebody wants to join you on your journey of finding strength, then let him join, but always rely on your strength.

2)      Accept the colour of your skin: When you don’t do that, you become oversensitive to rejection. When you don’t accept yourself, you get scared of weakness, whenever you faces them. When you set out for a journey to beat somebody, rather than seeking your own best, you end up getting scared and getting lost. So, best way is to accept yourself, accept your strength and weakness and act accordingly.

3)      Make yourself happy: I read somewhere,” If you are going to die your own death, you might live your own life as well”. You have all the right to be happy and nobody can take it away from you. Another saying in Hindi is, “Light the candle in your own house before lighting one in temple”. When you try to make others happy, even may be out of love and affection; as you may want to believe, you end up feeling rejected and dejected if they don’t reciprocate. Moreover, no one knows how to make you happy the way you know it. So, why to let somebody else run his trial and error on you; make yourself happy.

4)      There is nothing bad in being selfish: I am not advocating greed, but there is nothing bad in working to get happiness in your life. Be little selfish; if you don’t do what is required to be done for being happy, then who will do it for you.

5)      Don’t be manipulated: Come out of the cocoon, face the world; and for god sake, don’t give the excuse of being so. Who is bothered? Had he/she been bothered, he/she could have never done that. When somebody tries to manipulate you, he wants you to behave the way he wants you to behave, he tries to control you. Now, it is your choice whether you want him to control you or not; and I think not.

6)      Fake success but don’t fake perfection: I commit mistake, you commit mistake, everybody commit mistake; there is nothing new in that, there is nothing unusual in that. When you accept, you don’t brood over your mistakes, you don’t hide under the sand to believe the worst is over. You acceptance of mistakes allows to empty the empty out the puss from a wound and allows it to heal.

7)      Take your own decision: This is your life and you have to live with the result of decisions taken by you or taken for you. So, take your own decision and if somebody asks the reason, then tell him that “because I want to”.

8)       Take responsibility: When something goes wrong and it is your decision, take responsibility and seize the control. If you don’t take responsibility, then you allow somebody else to take control of the situation and when you are part of it, you become part of it.

9)      What could be worse than death: Accept it; you are only a mortal. Acceptance of death as one end, your life will get a meaning. When you will accept this fact that every pleasure or pain going to end someday, you will find a new light of happiness.

10)   If you won’t, then who will believe in you: You don’t believe in yourself, and you will become slave of anyone who takes care of you. When you believe in yourself, you makes yourself ready to act, to love, to take care, to take responsibility. Choice is yours...

11)   You deserve: You are working hard, you are toiling day in day out, then who deserve the happiness other than you??? Think over it; don’t give it to anybody else just for nothing.

12)   Risk gives result: So, go ahead and take it. Success is random and it is the result of our numerous actions. It may result in success, it may result in failure; but it will yield some result. Everything involves risk. So, go out in the sun; it may darken your skin and it may take you to your destination as well.

13)   Live your own life: Had Steve Jobs lived the life his father had chosen for him, then was there any possibility for us of knowing who Steve Jobs would have been? We know him because he lived his dream; he lived his life. So, message is clear; live your own life.

14)   Let positivity prevail upon you: Once, one of my mentor asked me find five circles around myself and I could not do it in the beginning. After some clue, some insistence, I found many circle around myself. Did he invented these circles around me; certainly not. He just conditioned my mind to think, think positive, and think for achieving the result. So, don’t give up.

15)    Don’t take it personally: People around you has lot of other work to do; so, if they don’t help you in pain or don’t celebrate your success, don’t take it personally. They are working for their happiness and telling you by their action that you also work for your happiness and don’t take it personally.

16)   Your attitude shapes the world: Yes, your attitude shapes your world. If you are sad, you bring hopelessness in others, and if you are happy, you try to cheer up others. Your attitude towards any work evokes befitting response from the environment and other stakeholders. So, yes, your attitude shapes your world.

17)   Say No, Say Yes: When you don’t want to do something, firmly say so. Say yes when you want to give, want to make somebody happy. It gives you freedom, if gives you strength to be in control.

18)   Seek your best: Even if you are in doubt of its existence, go for it, because everybody has his best. Seek it, work hard and get it; nobody will give it to you for free.

19)   Do it now: There is no best moment to start anything then now. Don’t wait, because future is something you haven’t seen, past is something already passed and present is something you are left with to act. So, respect the power of ‘now’.

20)   Respect Idleness: Idleness has its own virtue. It gives you the time to retrospect. Take time out to do nothing other retrospect and rejuvenate.